Some days I feel like my story is completely ridiculous and so convoluted it will be impossible to edit into good shape. I can barely string enough paragraphs together to make a chapter make sense, but every series I see on the shelves in Barnes and Noble are like 5+ book epics that go from farm boy trying to make a friend, to farm boy meeting God and slaying all evil. It makes me wonder how authors like Tolkien produced thousands of pages of pure fantasy that somehow ended up coherent by the last page. I guess if you’re crazy enough to sit around inventing your own language so you can write cool songs in Elvish, then you’re probably crazy enough to keep track of all the fellowships’ life stories too.

Maybe it will be easier than I expect to edit this pile of words into a coherent plot, but something makes me think it will actually be harder than I expect even though it already feels impossible. I know I’m going to have trouble making the characters’ motivations clear, and making them feel relatable, and I’m going to have trouble with pacing, and realistic dialogue, and making the tone consistent, keeping it all interesting, and rounding it all up into a satisfying ending and … yeah. Even if I’m able to make it seem like it all makes sense now, I know that years later a subtle plot hole is going occur to me and ruin an otherwise fine day.

At least it will be fun along the way.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley