I’ve been trying to sum up my thoughts about this book for the better part of two hours now, without much luck. I guess that means I just don’t know how to feel about Charlotte Bronte’s classic. It might be one I’d have to read again to really wrap my head around.

It has a little bit of everything: emotional moments of pain and triumph alike, intrigue and mystery, and of course a hefty dose of romance to line everything with a rosy vignette. Jane lives a storied life, for someone as sheltered as she was to begin with. The first half of the book had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Jane’s early life was plagued by doubt and misfortune, but when all hope seemed lost, she always managed to pull through by drawing on hidden wells of strength that made her instantly admirable. While the plot in later parts was full of random happenstance that often felt completely out of the blue, the character building here was absolutely phenomenal, and definitely my favorite part of the book.

I guess somewhat ironically, the actual romance in the later two thirds is where I started to get lost. Her connection with much older, upper class Mr. Rochester (ooh, scandalous) felt profound, but I can’t honestly say I understood why while reading. Their way of conversing with one another was mired in the kind of roundabout language and heavy metaphor often found in classics, but this time taken to the extreme. For example, Rochester started referring to her almost exclusively by an endlessly rotating roster of bizarre pet names at some point, the flavor of which depended on his mood with her (my Rabbit, my Elf, vs my Fairy, Little Tyrant). These made the reading a little confusing, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. Everything was buried under a few layers of subtext at minimum. Whenever Rochester was angry or rude, he was secretly bemused, and only Jane could tell. Whenever Jane felt put upon or annoyed with his tricks, his temper, or his secret keeping, she was actually secretly pleased to have some spice in her life. Often this was not outright stated. I understood most, if not all of what was said in literal terms, but felt like there was an undercurrent of communication going on that was totally lost on me even beyond what I did pick up on. Whenever Jane came away from an interaction with Mr. Rochester, I expected her to be hurt or at least displeased by his rude commands, his manipulations, and his overall brusque nature, but she surprised me every time. Their connection grew despite the veneer of conflict between them in every conversation.

It could be touching at times, but mostly I just felt like something was … I’m not sure. Wrong? Between the twenty-year age gap, and the fact that Jane was his paid employee, and the whole class thing which I guess was a big deal back then, and their obvious initial misgivings about one another, and Mr. Rochester’s constant secreting about and refusal to explain anything weird he did, and … yeah. I understand what they saw in each other at least. Jane’s sheltered life lead her to admire the brusque older man with a dark past, meanwhile the strife of Mr. Rochester’s youth drew him toward Jane’s earnest stability. A bit of each in one another, and they’d have been just perfect. Ying and yang, so to speak. If only every interaction between the two weren’t so uncomfortable to actually experience. Rochester’s temper and Jane’s provocations had me walking on eggshells the whole time, and not in a good way. I felt like it was supposed to be suspenseful, but it ended up more like overhearing your parents argue in the next room. Just an overall poor reading experience in my opinion.

I learned a lot from reading ‘Jane Eyre,’ even if I didn’t particularly enjoy it. Obviously I’m in the minority for not enjoying the book very much based on the reputation it has. It does have the distinction of being one of the few books I didn’t really like that I would like to try reading again some day. Maybe in the future I can come to appreciate it more.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley