Dangerous Day Job

I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes I enjoy working words in to my stories just because I like the way they sound. Usually it goes poorly and I have to go back and find a new phrasing. It’s because I only like to hear the sound of certain words because they’re unusual, and they’re all rare for a good reason as it turns out.

Befuddled is one of them that I can’t ever seem to get a good flowing sentence out of, but I always try it. Confused, distracted, vexed, or perplexed seem to take the place of befuddled whenever I go back through during edits. It feels a little too … I’m not sure. Silly, I guess? Like I’m trying to make fun of the character who’s befuddled rather than simply convey their lack of understanding. If anybody has a good use for this word, let me know.

Likewise, I never seem to find a good place for turquoise. There just aren’t that many turquoise things in the world, and the things that are turquoise don’t usually fit into the stories I want to tell. It just has a certain air about it that conveys too much about a character who has chosen to use a tool or wear a piece of clothing that is that color. A character with a turquoise spaceship, or turquoise dress is a very different person than someone who opts for a more typical color. Someone who uses that color regularly almost demands their own story as opposed to being fit into another story about someone or something else. It’s annoying.

Another word I can’t ever shoehorn in well enough is sumptuous. It just feels so pretentious. But that’s also why I want to use it. It makes me think of a fat aristocrat trying out a new quiche and then trying desperately to complement his head chef in a way that will make him sound smart about it.

Alabaster, topography, undulating, temptuous (or even more difficult, though completely different in meaning, tempestuous), I could go on for a while. They’re kinda like pokemon. Someday, I’ll catch all of them in a well-formed sentence or two.

Thank you for reading,

Benjamin Hawley